hydroped Posted June 30, 2006 Share Posted June 30, 2006 Hi Susanne, Glad to hear your sister is coming in - that should help but I'm very sorry there isn't more improvement in your dad. Hope you're getting enough rest and that your mom is hold up as well. I know staying at the hospital watching over someone isn't really too comfortable espeically in the long run. Definitely keeping you all in thoughts and prayers <hugs> David Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Charlene Posted June 30, 2006 Share Posted June 30, 2006 So sorry to hear about all this -- sending my prayers to heaven and my thoughts to you! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ilovecats Posted June 30, 2006 Share Posted June 30, 2006 Wow, susanne, I'm sorry to hear about the tumor on top of the condussion. I will think more positive thoughts for his recovery. marg Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Missymew Posted July 13, 2006 Author Share Posted July 13, 2006 Just an update on my dad. Yesterday the neuro-surgeon met with my dad, mum and brother. Dad will be undergoing surgery - probably some time next week. Surgeon is just coordinating his schedule with an Eye Surgeon as he feels they should both be present for the surgery. Dad is home for a few days until surgery is set. He's getting around very well. Looks like I'm still going to be off more than on this site for the next week or so. Looking forward to things getting back to normal (whatever that is). Miss everybody. My dad is not an easy man to spend a lot of time with. Dad and I are the artists in the family and we alternate between sharing on our creations and not agreeing to disagree (something like that anyway). My brother and sister keep giving me looks as I "upset" my dad by not agreeing with him all the time. What I want to know is why they don't give my dad the looks when he "upsets" me??? My sister came up from Calgary (2-3 hour drive, depending on how fast you drive it). She said she was going to stay for a week and spell me off for a while. My schedule is more flexible than my brother (Nick). Well, Debbie only lasted 2 days (and was only up at the hospital for a few hours each time ... where I sat 12-14 hours). She told me she couldn't stand it any longer. She said she was biting her tongue and cheeks so much to not say anything to upset my dad that her mouth was sore. Do I hear "dysfunctional family?". My brother Kevin (hasn't seen or spoke to my father in 10 years) always says that he and I are the "fun" in dysfunctional. Anyway, I'm looking at the phone and no I should call and see if mum and dad need me for anything. -Susanne Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LPCullen Posted July 13, 2006 Share Posted July 13, 2006 Susanne, Hang in there kiddo. At least it sounds like your dad has some good chances for an almost full if not recovery, unless I misread. In regard to the siblings, well, I'm the "baby" of 7. One of us is disabled, so he doesn't count, that knocks the number to 6. Technically. When my father was terminally ill and life support had been discontinued, I drove to the hospital from home every morning and every evening until he died. It was 1 1/2 to 2 hour drive each way depending on traffic. I left my house at 8a, and I left the hospital sometime between 10p and midnight. I got so angry because I was the only one in that room with my mother. Others lived nearer than I did. Others took days off from work and went out on the lake because they "needed a break". I remember thinking that I needed a break too--and I even had to stop at the funeral home on the way up on the day that he died in order to get the ball rolling on funeral plans because others were supposed to do it and didn't. But you know what, during the times my father was dying and then the following illnesses/hospital stays of my mother, I was where I needed to be. I came to the conclusion that even if they were there in that room while he was dying and while she was sick, I would have still been there. So in the end it didn't matter. I LOVE THAT!!! You and your brother are the "fun" in dysfunctional! BTW, dysfunctional is the norm, hadn't you heard? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SuzyQ Posted July 13, 2006 Share Posted July 13, 2006 Nice to hear from you Suzanne!!! Oh I know what you mean about having to bite your tongue. I had to do that so much when I was with my sister during the time her husband died. I never knew if I was going to say soomething to get my head bit off. ;) But we made it. And unfortuantly as parents age many times it comes down to one sibling doing all the work. My poor mother had to care for her Step Mother her Dad and my dads dad. It was so draining on her. Now my husbands parents are getting feeble There are 4 kids all who are married. So far everyone including the in-laws are pitching in. Thank goodness. I am afraid when my parents get feeble I will have to bring them down here with me. My siblings are a bit more disfunctional. I will keep you in my prayers Suzanne SuzyQ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
havanaholly Posted July 13, 2006 Share Posted July 13, 2006 Susanne, please don't forget to take care of YOU, lay an occasional guilt trip on the others and mini, take a mini project to work on (something unbreakable & not sharp) and when your dad gets under your skin, smile sweetly and chalk it up to his age or whatever... Parents know which "buttons" to push just as well as kids do, and the sweet smile (which you know is subbing for what you'd say...) throws 'em every time! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Josi Posted July 13, 2006 Share Posted July 13, 2006 Suzanne, do what you think is right for you. In the end, you need to feel good about yourself. I am the youngest of three and when my mother was sick and passed away, I was the one that was there for her. Even though parents and children has a love / hate relationship, as their children we want to take care of them. I know I felt I had a chance to pay back for what my mother did for me. Regardless of what your siblings do for your father, you do what you need to do. When the time comes, you don't want to feel you could have done more (the guilt really took a toll on my sister). Think of your mother and support her. And take care of yourself! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
heidiiiii Posted July 14, 2006 Share Posted July 14, 2006 There is always the one child that steps up to the plate.. I am the youngest of 4.. I was shoved up to the plate. Not saying I didnt love my mother (i did), and not saying I didnt want to take care of her (ditto) but my sibs have between 20-10yr age gap to me (oldest was 21, youngest was 10 when I was born).. They either couldnt or didnt want to handle all that goes with taking care of an aging parent. You should be proud of yourself! You know you can handle whatever your dad throws at you! ;) That will be something you will remember always! Take care of yourself and if you feel you cant handle it..you need to tell your sibs to get the heck over here! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LPCullen Posted July 14, 2006 Share Posted July 14, 2006 You know, I've noticed that it seems to be the youngest siblings that get the grunt work. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hydroped Posted July 14, 2006 Share Posted July 14, 2006 Hi Susanne, Hang in there sweetie. I bet if we sat down together we'd have some laughs comparing our dysfunctional families.. either that or we'd end up crying heh. You're definitely not alone! And I have to agree with Linda - I don't know why it is.. but it seems that the youngest does end up taking care of most of the family these days. My dad's an alcoholic and just in the last couple of years have we finally been able to be in the same room together for more than 10 min without insults and an argument. It's one of those things - he's a war vet, hunter and alcoholic... I'm a stay at home dad, a teatottler and got a state certification in Wildlife rehabillitation.. we're totall opposites! Yet these days I'm the one they call on to take care of them. We all have to do what we have to do to be able to sleep with ourselves at night and get up and look at ourselves in the mirror in the morning - just know you're not a lone - you've got lots of friends here sending you good wishes and prayers- and Please DO take time for yourself even if it's just 10 min to do something utterly and complete for you and no one else - it really can help get you through the day and don't let Anyone make you feel selfish for taking that time for you! It's not only healthy - it's necessary. (Love and hugs) David Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nuttiwebgal Posted July 14, 2006 Share Posted July 14, 2006 You know, I've noticed that it seems to be the youngest siblings that get the grunt work. I wish that were so in my case. although I love my Gran it would be so much easier for me if someone else would take charge and handle all of this. but you do what your concsious tells you is right and ta H____ with all thos selfish ones who cant think past their own noses! I had to beg my youngest sister to take gran for 2 days. she is the favored one. you would have thought I asked her to climb the highest mountain. remember when its all said and done you will feel proud that you could help yer mom through this hard time. and yer dad. all I can add is a ditto on taking care of yourself while doing hospital duty! that is very impotant. nutti ;) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Missymew Posted July 26, 2006 Author Share Posted July 26, 2006 Good News on my Dad! The neuro-surgeon scheduled my dad for a pre-op MRI yesterday, then he phoned to say he wants to postpone the surgery for another month. It seems that the pressure on my dad's optic nerve is subsiding. He doesn't think his vision is threatened right now, and doesn't want to disturb the tumor. He wants to wait and see to what extent it will improve on it's own. The surgeon said that dad's double vision seems to be correcting itself - to what extent this will continue he doesn't know (nor did he expect it to improve on its own). He would like to take more MRI images in 4 weeks to see what other changes might occur. It doesn't mean that dad is totally out of the woods, but we're beginning to see a pathway. Thank you for all your good wishes and prayers. The Lord instructed us to stand together when we have needs, and I think I'm seeing proof. Thank you. -Susanne Back to minis minis minis!!!! Oh yeah, my dad can't drive at the moment (and might not ever be able to ... we just haven't discussed that with him yet), so I've got to go over tomorrow morning and take mum and dad to the Library. I'm sure looking forward to going to the Library with them, especially when I'd thought I'd be spending the day at the Hospital. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
darrellandmelissa Posted July 26, 2006 Share Posted July 26, 2006 I am so pleased to hear your dad is improving. melissa Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hydroped Posted July 26, 2006 Share Posted July 26, 2006 Susanne That is such Good news!! Yaaay!! Let's hope it keeps improving!!! <hugs!!> -David Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Minis On The Edge Posted July 26, 2006 Share Posted July 26, 2006 We will keep sending well wishes and Prayers your way! I am happy that the news is looking good! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wenlaine Posted July 26, 2006 Share Posted July 26, 2006 Susanne, that wonderful news!! Wendy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SuzyQ Posted July 26, 2006 Share Posted July 26, 2006 Glad to hear that things are improving with your dad Suzanne. SuzyQ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LPCullen Posted July 26, 2006 Share Posted July 26, 2006 Susanne, I am so very glad to hear of your Dad's improvement! I will also continue to send prayers and good wishes your way! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Peggi Posted July 26, 2006 Share Posted July 26, 2006 Susanne, what good news. Will keep you in my prayers and thoughts and continue to send good wishes your way. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
havanaholly Posted July 26, 2006 Share Posted July 26, 2006 Oh, Susanne, I am so glad all our prayers are being answered! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shakyshaky Posted July 26, 2006 Share Posted July 26, 2006 It's great you are getting some good news! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Deb Posted July 27, 2006 Share Posted July 27, 2006 <huge sigh of relief> I'm sooooooo glad to hear that things are looking up Susanne! Deb Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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