I am not ok

[Peggi]

Oh Nutti Dear, You have been on a year long whirlwind. The surgery, the new grandbaby, new job, loss of jobs, children--you just haven't had a chance to deal with one thing at a time, anyone would be emotional and looking for comfort. You've been so upbeat, but with the constant changes there has to be a time (like now) that you don't recognize yourself, nothing at this moment seems familiar or comfortable--even though I've not gone thru the same things, I do know how it feels to have thing beyond my control happen one after another.

You also found comfort in your miniatures, break out a kit instead of the M&Ms and release some of that tension and stress by building one of your masterpieces. Even if it is only one of your lovely card scenes.

Hang in there honey, you have friends here who care and will listen anytime.

[heidiiiii]

Your emotions are definitely because of all the LIFE stuff you have had to deal with this past year. We are a strong animal, us humans, but we can only take so much.

If the meds make you want to hit somebody, have Dh get or make you a punching bag. Or hang up some comforters and whack the snot out of them. This symptom will pass. (BTDT) If it does not in a couple weeks I would tell the Dr.

(((((BIG HUGS)))))

[Gayle]

Hitting something may be exactly what you need. Hang a rug or quilt and "Take a whack at Wheezer". You can be a "Steel Magnolia" too.

[havanaholly]

You have become a new person in a very short time and you need to take time to get acquainted. The emotions are hormonal as well as "catch up". While you have your Medicare, ask your shrink to recommend a counsellor you can chat with more frequently.

[kellee]

Nutti, I am so sorry you are going thru this, you dont deserve it at all.

Stop for a minute, take a deep breath and think about all the wonderful things in your life... Your grandbabies, Dean, and a wonderful Greenleaf family !

We all care so much about you and just too see all the support that everyone has sowed is wonderful. You will get thru this and you will look back and say WHEW, what a ride.! :yes:

Hugs

Kellee

[Shy Spirit]

Nutti, you deserve to hold a big pity-party for yourself - and I do mean this! Snuggle into a cosy quilt, have someone make you a pot of your favourite tea, light a scented candle, watch an old black-and-white movie that will distract you from "reality". Have a good cry if you want to - you know that it will rid your body of accumulated toxins - as well as release all that pent-up emotion. Wallow - it's allowed! It's only bad for you if you can't stop wallowing, but I think you'll know when to stop. :lol:

If I could be there, I'd give you a very gentle hug and rock you for a while. Sometimes we all want to be a little baby again, and have our mummies comfort us. There's nothing wrong with that - you've been working so hard at staying on track, being strong, carrying forward with your life - you need some time off! You need to be able to drop your defenses, wail out all the stress, disappointments, pain, and just plain exhaustion.

Even all the good things that have happened to you will have stressed you and added pressure for you to maintain the standard - too much of a good thing is ... guess what? ... TOO MUCH!! Take a break, get off the merry-go-round.

Let the docs do their stuff, let your body adjust, give yourself permission to be imperfect - you're human, woman!

Then you can breathe again, pick up the pieces, and keep going.

[ilovecats]

Lynette, hang in there. You've gone thru so many changes this past year. You've got alot of support and friends here. Feel free to vent, get it off your chest it really helps. Big hug.

I just wanted you to know that I really admire you. In reading your posts and interactions with others on the forum the past couple of years I have really developed the opinion that I would love to be friends with you in real life if we lived closer. I think you are so friendly, cheerful, supportive, nice and I admire you. You also seem to have a great sense of humor. I think you are a strong person and I admire all the progress you've made and the choices that you have made this past year. This is a low point for you but I know that you will pull thru. Take those meds! Let your body normalize and you will feel alot better. You have a crowd cheering for you!!!!

[KatCal]

Obviously, I'm coming into this late. There's not a thing I can add to what everyone else has said except I hope you have a garden or something close to it outside. Go buy an autumn flower and dig the biggest hole you can manage, even if you have only a spoon. While you're digging, bury some of those stresses ( and a few people ) and plop that flower on top and fill it in with dirt. I can't tell you how often that time alone and fretting over a pile of dirt has helped me....and there are PLENTY of people "buried" among my plants.

Bless your heart.

Kathy in Grand Junction, CO

[kathi17]

Hi Lynette, I haven't posted in a long time because I'm working 7 days a week, but I checked in today and saw this thread.

As everyone said, you have been through so much in the last year, and without your medications, you are bound to be off kilter.

Gosh, I know how you must feel when you look in the mirror and don't recognize yourself, (I don't recognize myself either, because of age, and it sucks to look in the mirror and see that strange middle aged lady looking back at me), but I just looked at your photos together, and you are beautiful! You were beautiful before, because your inner beauty showed through, but you even more beautiful now. You have worked so hard to get to this point, and all of us admire you so much!

I guess I don't really know what to say, I know it must be really really hard to get away from the comfort zone you were in, and becoming a new person. I haven't been here for a month or so, so I don't know if you are still bicycling or not. I know the gardening advice is good, because it always feels good to watch something you've planted grow. I also feel much better when I get out and walk. Something about being outdoors and getting excercise seems to agree with me.

I sure hope that the new medications, and maybe returning to work will help. In the mean time just know that we all are thinking of you.