heidiiiii Posted March 10, 2006 Share Posted March 10, 2006 I really need some advice from seasoned moms. Chelsea`s art teacher thinks she has real talent and so do I. She has been picked to try out for a scholarship to go to Wesleyan University for 5 weeks in summer to do high school art program. This is a big deal. Now that the interview is coming (next weekend) she doesnt want to do it. She says she has no good art to show and she isnt a good artist. What do I say? I dont want to force her but this is an opportunity of a lifetime. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wenlaine Posted March 10, 2006 Share Posted March 10, 2006 Oh Heidi, my kids have been gone from home for many years now but I still remember their moments of insecurity and all I can say is try to get her to do it. Tell her at least if she tries she will never look back and say to herself she should have done it. If she decides she doesn't like it after, tell her that's fine, she doesn't have to pursue it. I never was one for rewards, I always felt that passing or graduating was the reward. Keep us informed, I'd love to know how you both make out. Wendy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Missymew Posted March 11, 2006 Share Posted March 11, 2006 Your daughter will have to make up her own mind. Remind her that she'll also always have to live with her decision. Maybe she's comfortable turning down this opportunity. Maybe it isn't really something she wants bad enough to pursue. But if it is ... this is a great opportunity. If she doesn't see it through, she could regret it, and always wonder "what if". I hear Chelsea doesn't think she has any art that's good enough to show. Does Chelsea value her art teacher's opinion? If she does, I think her art teacher is telling Chelsea that she does have the talent, and that she's seen the proof in her art. Susanne Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ilovecats Posted March 11, 2006 Share Posted March 11, 2006 Has she shown interest in art in the past? lots of enthusiasm? has she mentioned what she wants to do after high school? how are her grades? is she a spiteful teenager? Unfortunately i can't give any advice since i don't have children myself...but just wondering if she's even interested in pursuing such a career or if she doesn't want to do it because mom wants her to? If the later is the case...reverse psychology may work...if she's genuinely not interested and you feel she has a good head on her shoulders maybe subtley nudge her in a direction that she is interested in Marg Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Anya Posted March 11, 2006 Share Posted March 11, 2006 That's great news about the interview but it's a shame that your daughter doesn't feel the same way. Try and find out the reason why she doesn't want to do the interview. Usually there is more to a situation than meets the eye. It could be that she is just extremely nervous or could be having problems with other kids picking on her at school because of the praise she has been getting. If that is the case kids can be very cruel and pressure like that could easily knock your daughters self esteem. On the other hand she may simply not want to do art. At the end of the day it is her decsion and you can only do so much. If she doesn't want to go onto the art programme, the best advice that I can give you is not to hold it against her or be mad at her. If she regrets her decision for not going later on, she cannot blame you for her choices in life. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
heidiiiii Posted March 11, 2006 Author Share Posted March 11, 2006 Okay, I am feeling a little less stressed today then yesterday so I can clarify more on the topic. Chelsea is a great artist. I was brought up in an artist family. I encourage her in every way when it comes to her pursuits in it. I am also would not push so hard on this opportunity if I didnt think she had the talent to win it. If she was mediocre, I would tell her she is great but if she decided not to go to this school then that would be okay. But she is really good! and I am not talking like a mother. She has three of her pieces placed in a art gallery downtown. She thinks all three suck. The gallery owner wants her to come in and work in the gallery. She says she doesnt want to be pressured into doing a set art plan. She wants to be a free thinker in her art. She is WANTED from the art magazine for the school. To put her art in and work with the computer graphics (she can do that extremely well) Chelsea has been pursuing her art since 6th grade. She draws all the time. When she took Drawing 1 this year the art teacher basically thought she was too advanced for the class. She wants her to take AP art portfolio next year (she wanted her to switch this year but school wouldnt let her). Chelsea is afraid. She has ALWAYS been shy. I dont put a spotlight on this personality trait but it is there. When she found out that she has to bring 3 pieces of her work for review, go thru a maximum 3 hour interviewing process for this and that there will be LOTS of kids there, I think she freaked. She just clammed up. I said to her, Are you afraid that they wont accept you? She didnt answer. She is afraid of failing or the scrutiny. If I have placed that scrutiny in her life somehow, then I am to blame. She is a junior in high school. She is showing interest in going into art college. But if she cannot deal with this interview, how is she going to deal with college interviews and art college scrutiny of her work? What I am feeling is that I dont want to push her into a situation that she doesnt want to do. I am her mother, I love her, and I dont want her to hurt. But I feel that if I dont push her into this She will be hurt in the long run. She keeps saying that I never pursued my artistic talents. I must be at fault for my insecurities in this way. Every mother goes thru the same feeling...Am I screwing up my kid? Okay I got it all out on the platter! I feel better for now, until she wakes up and gives me that wounded look. I hope I clarified better. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
heidiiiii Posted March 11, 2006 Author Share Posted March 11, 2006 It is 1pm and just got back from the craft store. SHE IS GOING!!!! She is going to work on some art projects this weekend so that she will be ready for next Saturday! Ahhh! that and this snickerdoodle (sorry but diet takes a back seat to stress) are making me feel much better! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ilovecats Posted March 11, 2006 Share Posted March 11, 2006 It is 1pm and just got back from the craft store. SHE IS GOING!!!! She is going to work on some art projects this weekend so that she will be ready for next Saturday! Ahhh! that and this snickerdoodle (sorry but diet takes a back seat to stress) are making me feel much better! That's great! Yes, I felt all this stress for you and allowed myself to sympathy eat a piece of fried chicken and some potato salad for lunch today just kidding...i just couldn't face eating another bland lunch today...so i was naughty...but i'm still within my points (W.W.) for today! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LisaN Posted March 11, 2006 Share Posted March 11, 2006 I am so glad your daughter decided to apply. Talent like you have described sometimes needs a kick in the patootie. I push my stepdaughter Amanda as much as possible, and she suffers from the same insecurities you described--she draws ALL of the time, reads, etc. and is quite talented but suffers I think more from being bashful than anything else. Sometimes we need to be re-assured by someone that's not 'Mom' so to speak, that we have talent--maybe that was the case with Chelsea here. Probably she suffers more from being a perfectionist, which means she's not only talented, but driven. I wouldn't worry too much--she sounds like she will do fine. Look forward to seeing the pics of her work! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hydroped Posted March 12, 2006 Share Posted March 12, 2006 It is 1pm and just got back from the craft store. SHE IS GOING!!!!Yaaaay!! She has three of her pieces placed in a art gallery downtown. She thinks all three suck. LOL - she sure does sound like an artist! My sister is the same way - people love her pieces! but- she's had a few ... thoughtless comments from people when she's done live art shows "My brother is an artist. You should see HIS work!".. things like that ugh! and those few people who have said things like that really hurt her - it unforunately overshadowed the many many good things said about her work by fellow artists and others who really admire her works. She also has a very high set of self-standards - the old double standard artisty style. It goes something like this "Every artist has their own style but my art sucks" To which I have to laugh and remind her that the value of art is in the eyes of the person looking at it. Not everyone likes cubism or Picaso's works. Not everyone likes Monet (sorry for the misspelling) and not everyone will like everything she does. So I tell her "well, in that case start cranking out lousy work because you know what? It sells! - Do what you like to do and don't worry what anyone else thinks about it" Once she started doing that her work started selling better and she's even got a few people who are collecting her aceo's now. One lady has about 20 of them so far and still wanting more. So.. if it was my daughter I'd tell her about the same thing. "This is Your art - no one can judge what comes out of your mind and heart and soul - some will like it and some will LOVE it - and some won't, but that's what makes it art - and it's up to those looking at it to let it speak to them and if they can't see or hear your vision then it's not about you as an artist or as a person - it's about where they're coming from and what ever they're having to deal with at the time. So do what you enjoy. Do what you love. Don't worry about it and don't let anyone discourage you because every artist is unique and each one has something special to give to the world. Art isn't meant to be made and put in a closet - it's meant to be shared." And that's what I'd say to her. -David Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
heidiiiii Posted March 12, 2006 Author Share Posted March 12, 2006 AMEN David! I told her that all real artists think their works stinks! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Anya Posted March 13, 2006 Share Posted March 13, 2006 Oh great news! You see you didn't have to pressure her for her to decide to go, she probably just needed some time to think. I think that it's awful when parents pressure their children into doing something. Some parents have this dream for their children to achieve their own failed aspirations which is so unfair. My father was very much like that. He was always telling my brother to get a 'proper' job. He was a very talented guitarist and I think that if my father left him to concentrate on his music he would have been very happy. I think that you did the right thing letting your daughter make up her own mind. Now you can be certain that she is doing this for herself and not for anyone else and will probably do extremely well because of that. I hope she does really well and she sounds like a very talented person. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
heidiiiii Posted March 13, 2006 Author Share Posted March 13, 2006 Thanks to everyone who helped with my dilemma. I was so stressed because I couldnt FIX IT. It wasnt like a boo-boo or problems with a term paper. Those are ez to fix. This was a life decision that she had to make. I couldnt make it. I wanted her to do it soooooooooo bad but I cant spike her Koolaid and drag her to Middletown! I know she wants to go now. I told Nat this morning that her friend couldnt sleep over this weekend and she interrupted me and said she knew, Chelsea had told her that they were all going to Wesleyan on Sat. and she had an interview and they would get to have a tour of the campus. If she told her "brat" sister all the details then I am confident we are going. Now I have to figure out how to get her to go shopping for clothes to wear. She is NOT a girly girl by any means. She would just rather go in her "The Smiths" or "Rasputina" t-shirt, jeans, and black bobo sneakers then wear anything interview worthy. Thank fully her hair is a normal color. I have been bleaching out her hair and coloring it Cinnamon Red, Bright Purple, and one time it was Aquamarine. I like it on her and fully support her individuality but not for an interview! LOL Maybe I can drug her and drag her to the Mall? LOL Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hydroped Posted March 13, 2006 Share Posted March 13, 2006 Lol - some of my favorite young artists have green hair. Heck I have a friend who's in her 70's and for her birthday she got her very white hair died bright Magenta! It looks Great on her!! And don't forget she's not interviewing for a business collage, she's interviewing for Art college. Have you seen what the kids wear to University these days? I'd encourage her to wear something that makes her feel comfortable and confident. If she feels out of place in what she's wearing she won't do well on her interview no matter how good she looks Then again I'm a Big believer in being comfortable and owning what you wear - by that I mean wear what makes you feel good! -David and yes when my mom is being polite she says "You know you're very opinionated".. hehehe of course she has other words for it when she's not being polite heheheh Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
heidiiiii Posted March 13, 2006 Author Share Posted March 13, 2006 Oh I am all for that david!! I am going to call the lady at the office there and find out if the kids are dressed or not. I dont want her going in her NEW comfy clothes and everyone else is dressed to the 9s. That would be even worse. She took a break from the hair color. Bleach was turning her hair to cotton candy. It wont be long b4 I have to do something else on her hair! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
madhatter Posted March 13, 2006 Share Posted March 13, 2006 Heidi, Just read your post today, you must be so proud. I love to hear about kids who are free thinkers, your doing a great job. Jenn Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SuzyQ Posted March 14, 2006 Share Posted March 14, 2006 Ahhh! that and this snickerdoodle (sorry but diet takes a back seat to stress) are making me feel much better! I see that Heidi. I read other topics besides the "anyone else trying to loose some pounds" section. Just kidding I am glad to hear that Chelsea is going. SuzyQ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
heidiiiii Posted March 14, 2006 Author Share Posted March 14, 2006 Thank fully her hair is a normal color. I have been bleaching out her hair and coloring it Cinnamon Red, Bright Purple, and one time it was Aquamarine. I like it on her and fully support her individuality but not for an interview! LOL Maybe I can drug her and drag her to the Mall? LOL Here is a pic of her cinnamon phase! You will get an idea of what I am talking about.. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
debtingler Posted March 14, 2006 Share Posted March 14, 2006 Yaaaay!! . "This is Your art - no one can judge what comes out of your mind and heart and soul - some will like it and some will LOVE it - and some won't, but that's what makes it art - and it's up to those looking at it to let it speak to them and if they can't see or hear your vision then it's not about you as an artist or as a person - it's about where they're coming from and what ever they're having to deal with at the time. So do what you enjoy. Do what you love. Don't worry about it and don't let anyone discourage you because every artist is unique and each one has something special to give to the world. Art isn't meant to be made and put in a closet - it's meant to be shared." -David Profoundly and beautifully stated. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
heidiiiii Posted March 17, 2006 Author Share Posted March 17, 2006 Tomorrow is D-day or A-day. I have to check the maps but I have been to Middletown so many times I could probably drive their blindfolded. But just have to make sure! Registration is at 9am. We are leaving at 7am. It takes an hour to get there and gives us an hour to get parking and aclimated to the campus. I have to call the lady today to make sure we have everything in. Chelsea has been working on some drawings. She still has to finish the one page sheet of questions. She is such a procrastinator! LOL She is ready to go. I am so happy. I told her to just go for it. If you dont get picked that is ok. But if you never tried it would drive you crazy! What teen wouldnt LOVE to have 5 weeks away from home w/o nagging mommy? Wish us luck! We wont find out if she got in until first week of April! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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