pdlnpeabody Posted April 1, 2010 Share Posted April 1, 2010 I finally remembered something funny thats rated "G." No offense to anyone who may be religious, (I am) but when ever I'm feeling down, I just remember the beer prayer: Our lager which art in barrels, Hallowed be thy drink. Thou will be drunk at home as I am in the tavern. Give us this day our foamy head, and forgive us of our spillages as we forgive those who spill against us. Lead us not into incarceration, but protect us from hangovers. The stout and the porter, forever and ever, amen. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lynette Smith Posted April 1, 2010 Share Posted April 1, 2010 Apparantly as a small tot I had an affinity for water. If waster was around I was into it in no time. Childhood nick name: Lynette the Wet. True life story from the '90s. A friend was in a fairly serious accident on freeway. Upon arriving at the emergency room, the doctors assess her memory and cognition to check for a brain injury. "Who's President?" She squints, tring to come up with the name. Tenatively she answers "Hilary". The doctor smiles. "She's alrigtht!" A guy goes to prison and is placed in a cell block of old timers. He isn't there very long when one prisoner down the block calls out "27!" The whole cellblock breaks out in laughter. A little while later someone calls out "16!" Again, chortles and gaffaws. This happens several more times. Confused, the new guy asks the prisoner in the next cell "What's going on" The old timer tells him that they've been there so long that all the prisoners know all the jokes, so they''ve numbered them to save time. "Can I tell one?" he asks. The other inmate tells him to go ahead. "12!" he calls out. Dead silence. "What's wrong?" He asks. "Well some people can tell them and some people can't" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scotty Posted April 1, 2010 Share Posted April 1, 2010 An administrator, a doctor and a politician are arguing about who has the oldest profession. The doc says well must be me, as it says in the Bible, God made woman from Adam's rib, since this is a surgical procedure, medicine is the oldest profession. The administrator says no mine is older than that as it says in the Bible, out of chaos came order, so administration is the oldest profession. The politican just smiled and said - who do you think created the chaos? With best wishes from Dumbah Battybrains Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jdodyd Posted December 4, 2014 Share Posted December 4, 2014 Dinky Pottyswirt here. Uhmmmm..... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
joannie Posted December 5, 2014 Share Posted December 5, 2014 I am SnickleBattyBrains and I would like to thank you all for the laughs!!! :xmas: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.