SuzyQ Posted February 25, 2006 Share Posted February 25, 2006 havanaholly Posted Today, 01:19 PM We did the first two, adopting #1 and then as we were in the middle of adopting #2 I miscarried (didn't even know I was preggers) and the state of SC stopped the adoption proceedings I am not sure where this conversation started I just seen this post and wanted to comment. We adopted out daughter in Arkansas. That one went great. We almost adopted a boy from South Carolina. That is a hard state to work with for out of state couples. That one didn't work out. The girl practically wanted us to buy the baby! (buy her a car etc.)which is illegal of course. Anyhow as much as I would have loved to have had him I am glad that we didn't. We had a friend that adopted from SC later and they ended up having to move there and establish residency for like 6 months. That would not have worked for us. So we left it at one beautiful daughter. Adopting is just so hard emtionally with all the "will she change her mind etc. stuff" SuzyQ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
havanaholly Posted February 25, 2006 Share Posted February 25, 2006 I'll have to go back to correct the post, too. We were living in GA at the time we were trying to adopt #2, we moved to SC shortly after and both #s 2 & 3 were born there. The adoption attempt was in 1968-69 & being through the state HRS the mother had already given up the baby & her rights thereto. I'd be very cautious about adopting an infant in the present environment of handing babies back to birth families at the drop of a writ. #1 turned out to have a very distinguished military career and is off & at 'em in a civilian career now; we adopted him from a different state. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SuzyQ Posted February 25, 2006 Author Share Posted February 25, 2006 havanaholly Posted Today, 04:01 PM I'd be very cautious about adopting an infant in the present environment of handing babies back to birth families at the drop of a writ Yes it is a very scary thing to adopt these days but thankfully we got all signatures needed and it went well. But worrisome until the judge and all sign those papers. In the beginning the birthmother still has 10 to change her mind then 6 months to contest. But all was worth it. Our daughter is 13 now. And all that we could have asked or dreamed for. We would probably adopt again if the conditions were right. I am happy to hear that your son is doing well. He is about the age of my brother who was also in the military at one point. SuzyQ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
madhatter Posted February 25, 2006 Share Posted February 25, 2006 Im so happy to hear that so many of you have adopted children. My husband and I are thinking about this instead of having a baby naturally. I have always wanted to adopt and i feel it's something that i need to do. We already have ben, and i wanted to wait till he was a little older. We have not told to many people, i dont know how his family will react. I want to wait a little longer till we are finished the move and settled a bit to start looking into it more. I just think that it's amazing when people open there hearts and homes to children, who need a home. Im hoping we can become part of this wonderful experience in the future. I know there are lots of headachs and paperwork, but im so looking forward to the future. Hope everthing works out for all. Jenn Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SuzyQ Posted February 26, 2006 Author Share Posted February 26, 2006 madhatter Posted Today, 04:49 PM Im so happy to hear that so many of you have adopted children Jenn, I am very happy to hear about your interest in adopting. Ours was a very positive experience. A word of caution. Be very careful. It is really easy to get excited when the first chance comes along. Don't get in a hurry and skip any important steps because it could cause heartache later. We had several that didn't work out. Thankfully God closed those doors before we got in over our heads and hearts. It was seven long years but RayAnnne was so worth the wait. If there is anything I can help you with just holler. P.S. My sister lives in Canada SuzyQ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Anne Posted February 26, 2006 Share Posted February 26, 2006 My parents, who are both social workers, have two foster-children, two boys. They are part of our family since the age of 7 and 12 and they are both about 13 years older than me. They are still part of the family and I see them as my real brothers. But it wasn't always easy for my parents and it still isn't. My brothers had both a horrible and fateful childhood. Their bad experiences as a young child still have an influence on their lives today. I know it sounds hard but my parents have never regretted their decision not to adopt them. If there are own children involved I think this decision should be well-considered. For people who can't get own children it is a wonderful way to devote love to a child and enable her or him a happier live. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
havanaholly Posted February 26, 2006 Share Posted February 26, 2006 For people who can't get own children it is a wonderful way to devote love to a child and enable her or him a happier live. One of my best friends & her DH decided to foster children in their home early in their married life together and adopted their first son after more than six months passed without his being adopted elsewhere. They also had two girls together and continued to care for foster children, adopting two more after a year or so. I may be prejudiced, but our #1 was in a foster home from birth until 7 months old without cuddling (the foster mom told our social worker she didn't want to become "too attached") and bonding came slow & hard for him (not for us!). Whether someone adopts a child or fosters, please love that child! That's an awesome responsibility you have, to raise a loving, productive member of society. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SuzyQ Posted February 26, 2006 Author Share Posted February 26, 2006 We were fortunate to take our daughter right from the Hospital she was not even 48 hours. So thankfully she had no bonding problems. We do however work very close with a Childrens Home. We have at leat 24 Teen Age girls that we "juggle" meaning that we take them out they spend the weekends, take them out on the boat etc. Most of these girls have been placed in care because of being in bad homes and are one step away from juvinille(sp). It is so sad to see the things these 13, 14, 15 ,16 year olds have done already in thier young lives. So many things our daughter would never even dream about yet. But yet with all their problems these girls are so precious and all they want is someone to love them for who they are. Some of them would love for us to adopt or foster them. But since our daughter is at an impressionable age that would not be the right thing to do at this time. It is funny though because they know she is still innocent so they are careful and protective of her. Maybe someday when she is grown we can open our home to do that. So in the meant time we just enjoy thier company in these other ways. SuzyQ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
madhatter Posted February 26, 2006 Share Posted February 26, 2006 Suzy Q, Thanks for you postive feedback and offer of help. Will let you know when things are further along in our life. I know it wont be for a least 6 to 12 months. As for Ben i am waiting till he can talk and express himself more before intrudicing him to this experience. We are hoping to adopt a young child or baby from a another counrty, there is a program that is run in canada. I think we are going to look into it more. One of my concerns was and will always be bens safety. I know that unfortunally alot of children have been exposed to horrible experinces and thus have alot of problems. I do want to also become a foster parent when ben is older, Id love to be able to help the older kids. Im sure that they have a harder time being adopted when they are older. So for now it's just the 3 of us, but someday i would like it too be more. Id love to have a full table with kids shouting and running around and being kids. It is so sad that so many children are unloved. I wish i could adopt them all. Jenn Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SuzyQ Posted February 27, 2006 Author Share Posted February 27, 2006 madhatter Posted Today, 06:50 PM We are hoping to adopt a young child or baby from a another counrty, there is a program that is run in canada We have a friend at the moment waiting to get a call to pick their baby up from China. They are so excited. There is about a 1 year wait after paperwork. And I believe they have to go there twice before they can actually get the baby. But I hear the children there are well taken care of . I have heard a few negative stories about Romaina. Many of the children have bonding troubles. I have a friend that adopted a boy from Haiti (sp). There were like 10 family memebrs sleeping on a hut floor the birth mother actually handed him to the adoptive mother. He was almost 2 that was a positive experience for them. They did have a scare. When he got to the States he fell on the tile kitchen floor and hit his head. It actually fractured his skull. The Drs. said it was from the lack of vitamins over there in Haiti. They were very fortunate he healed very well. He is a doll. My daughter went to school with a boy that was adopted from Russia. He has done very well also. So there are many countrys to choose from. Do you get the show An Adoption Story on TLC over there in Canada? That is a good program featuring many international adoptions. I have enjoyed talking with you on one of my favorite subjects. ;) SuzyQ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Anne Posted February 27, 2006 Share Posted February 27, 2006 What I wanted to say above is that the main problem about adopting a child while having own children is not the bad influence or something. I just think that the decision to adopt a child should be very well-considered because of legal issues, etc. I don't know that much about the legal system in the United States and Canada but I think parents should primary ensure their own children welfare. I personally wouldn't adopt a child beside having own children. And I'm very sceptical of adopting a child from another country and especially culture. (I think that identy crisis can post a risk and the way how children get seperated from their families in former Third World countries.) But that's just my opinion on this issue. ;) I wish you good luck with your decision! I'm sure you will make the right one!!! Just follow your heart and never forget to make your decision based on what is best for Ben and the child you want to give the opportunity of a better and happier life. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
madhatter Posted February 27, 2006 Share Posted February 27, 2006 Thanks for all your support and views on this subject. We do get adoption stories here in Canada, i always end up crying. Suzy Q, what part of canada does your sister live in? Jenn Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SuzyQ Posted February 27, 2006 Author Share Posted February 27, 2006 Suzy Q, what part of canada does your sister live in? Hey Jenn, My sister lives in Windsor Ontario. They did live in Chatham that is where her huband grew up. Did I tell you that her name is Jenn also? SuzyQ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
madhatter Posted February 27, 2006 Share Posted February 27, 2006 suzy q, well your sister hes a great name lol. i live in toronto, im typing with one hand because of ben. sorry no caps jen Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SuzyQ Posted February 27, 2006 Author Share Posted February 27, 2006 Hey Jen, How old is Ben by the way? SuzyQ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
madhatter Posted February 27, 2006 Share Posted February 27, 2006 almost 15 months Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SuzyQ Posted February 27, 2006 Author Share Posted February 27, 2006 Thats a great age. Still cuddly and not quite old enough to talk back yet. LOL I really do miss having a baby. I was palying with a set of bi-racial twin girls from the Childrens Home yesterday they are 3 and just dolls. One has black brillo pad hair and the other has blonde brillo pad hair. They both love to play with my hair. (or pull at it) It is long and smooth. The total opposite of theirs so they get a kick out brushing it. They are just sweethearts!! SuzyQ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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