MIL from H***

[SallyG]

I can identify with so much of what has been said in this thread. My own family have pretty much disowned me. Mostly because my husband has a different ethnic background than I do, which really makes me mad because we sure weren't raised that way! My father died when I was 11 and I know that if he were still alive, the rest of the family would have to pick a different reason not to like me. They will all talk to my oldest daughter, who recently turned 20, but have nothing to do with Eddie (didn't even attend his wedding nor send a card) or Ashleigh. I still ache to patch things up with all of them, and have my family, even though they have done nothing except hurt me over and over throughout the years. You would think that my heart would learn what my head already knows.

Jerry's family is a different story. When we first married, we lived in Ohio close to them. At that time, although they were nice to me and the kids (they're from a previous marriage) they weren't very friendly to us either. They caused a lot of trouble for Jerry and I and after just a year, we moved away. Jerry chose to not even tell them that we were leaving nor where we went. It was a full two years before he contacted them again. Now we get along very well with his Dad. Jer's "stepmom" is a different story. She's still nice to us, but probably only for his Dad's sake. She's far more interested in her "real" kids, although she raised Jerry from the time he was three.

Jerry's "real" mom is something else. She gave him up, keeping his two sisters and his brother. They all live in California and she never contacted Jerry at all when he was young. It wasn't until 2002 that she decided she wanted a relationship with him. Of course, at first, Jerry was thrilled. Jerry had always dreamed of a relationship with her, and his siblings. That summer, she paid for us to go down to California so Jerry could see all his family. We didn't know that she had decided before we ever left here that she only wanted Jerry and she would do whatever it took to break the two of us up and keep him. In her mind, he was still a three year old boy and that was what she wanted. A 3 year old wouldn't have a wife or kids to her way of thinking. Well, although it was a difficult three months (I got fed up and came back without him), he realized what she was really like and came home. He still hasn't contact her.

****note: edited because of nasty pm's I received about this post. ****

Wow...I'm sorry someone sent you nasty pm's!!

I'm always amazed at how people can be. I love each of my boys equally and who they choose to marry or have a relationship is their business. You can't control who you love!! If they have a relationship that makes them happy and the person treats them well and loves them, what more can you ask for? 

[heidiiiii]

****note: edited because of nasty pm's I received about this post. ****

I am sorry about that. You chose to tell your story and someone decided it was okay to be mean. That is not cool. Hopefully they have been *talked to* by the powers that be here. ((((((((Big Hugs))))))))

[nechee]

I am sorry about the nasty PM's, that's not right. Everyone should feel like they should be able to tell their story without dealing with reprecussions from it.

Where is your FIL in all of this? What is he like?

My FIL is a spineless man who will not disagree with his wife for anything. The only time I have ever seen him stand up to her she walked out on him and moved in with her sister. She even had the divorce papers drawn up at that time. She is a highly manipulative woman and runs her children still. My husband is doing much better without her. He seems less oppressed now with her gone. And I can finally have my house the way I want it and not the way she wants it. She is really mad that I will not allow the kids to go see her with either me or my DH present but I am not going to have her saying things to my children and having my children in the middle of this. We were looking to move but unfortunately our landlords did not give us a good word thanks to my MIL. I tried to appeal to the new place but they would not listen to my pleas. So she really messed up our chances of being able to move into a different place. So we are looking into getting a mortgage. I am hoping that works out. But thank you all for all your support. It is nice to know that their is people in this world that actually care about other people.

[tcmorrison]

Tam,

So sorry about the nasty PMs. I'm surprised...I didn't think that the members here would be like that. So here's plenty of BIG HUGS for you.

Kathie,

Keep going and stay strong. I know it's tough and I know it hurts. Fortunately, the mortgage companies don't look at relationships just finances. It looks like you are trying to turn something bad into a better situation for your family. Owning your own home is awesome.

I REALLY hope this works out for you.

Terri

[heidiiiii]

Kathie,

How long have you lived in this current apartment? If you decide to still look for another before you get a mortgage for a house, Tell the truth to the prospective landlord. Tell them what you went thru. Plus if you lived there for awhile, that should show that you were good tenants.

I hope you do get a house. That would be great.

[prariegurl]

Kathie,

Before you apply for any more leases, get an attorney to write a letter to your landlord. What he did is not right. He can't trash your reputation and spread rumors, and if you took him to court this could cost him. Often a well written letter from an attorney, to show him you mean business, is all it takes for someone to change their tune.

[wenlaine]

Tams, I'm appalled that anyone would write you anything nasty. You're entitled to your feelings and to share those feelings if you choose. I hope you do contact the higher ups here and have this person be told that that is not acceptable.

Kathie, keep trying for your own house. Good luck!