chattycathy66 Posted November 25, 2009 Share Posted November 25, 2009 Hi and Happy Thanksgiving to all ;) It's been a while! I've really missed keeping up with everyone! I'm trying to get back into a mini frame of mind...after I went back to work in July time has just flown by! Then back in August my dad was having "drop" attacks, fell and fractured a vertebrae...which they were able to "fix"...but he continued to have these attacks (and lots of testing--mom doesn't drive and he was trying not to drive much)...luckily, they found that these are some type of atypical seizures-he's on medication now, and doing much better...and my parents don't need me as much... but 2 weeks ago, we had just visited my grandma (who's 95 1/2 and had been totally independent--living on her own, cooking, cleaning, etc) and all was fine--2 days later she had a large stroke and lost the use of her left side. Right now she's in Rehab,but we've been driving 2 hrs back and forth a couple times a week to visit her and take care of her apartment, etc. This has been really devastating to her and we are pretty close, so I'm really torn that I can't be there as much as I'd like! My mom doesn't drive, so it's pretty much up to me to make sure we get to Chicago to check in on her while she's still in the hospital. She's starting to realize she's not going back to her apartment without help--and we're having a hard time with the realization that unless she needs less than maximum assist. with 2 people, she will have to go to an extended rehab in the nursing home that's on the grounds of their retirement community. We had really wanted her to be able to stay in her apartment until the end...but she can't pay for 2 fulltime caregivers...and I can't get a leave to take care of her--plus, I have 3 kids...and my mom isn't in the greatest health to take care of Grandma fulltime... I am however thankful that I've had my grandma in such excellent shape for this long! I'm thankful that she still knows us and can talk...I'm thankful that I've had the mental energy to get back to this forum and try to reconnect:) Wishing you all many blessings! (here's a shot of my grandma from this past May with my kids--hard to believe she's 95!) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jo Med Posted November 25, 2009 Share Posted November 25, 2009 Cathy, So sorry to hear about both your Dad and your Grandma. Great that your Dad has been diagnosed and is responding well to medication. How does your Gran feel about the rehab place and would this be likely to mean that she will not be able to go back to her own place at any point. I guess a stroke at 95 would take some getting over. My Mum is 89 and although she has no major health issues, she is so frail physically that she has had to move in with us. She would have preferred to stay in her own home but acknowledged that she could no longer cope alone. She has been with us 2 years now and still doesn't think of it as home although she has her own bedroom and sitting room. Its hard for the elderly when they become dependant on others. I hope your Gran responds well to the rehab and that she will recover most of her former sprightliness as shee looks incredibly good for her age in your pic. Cheers Jo Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chattycathy66 Posted November 25, 2009 Author Share Posted November 25, 2009 Well, we've been pretty reserved about any plans beyond Dec. 7th--that is how long she will stay in the intensive rehab. We haven't talked a whole lot about her going to the extended rehab---I think she deep down knows she will need more help than she thinks, but she's not saying it yet...The last thing we want to do is have her think we're trying to dump her in a nursing home--we're just hoping she'll start to see just how much she'll need to be able to do to go back to her appt--although she lives in an independent apartment, there is a nurse in the complex and she get to decide if my grandma can go back to her appt. We keep telling her we want to do everything we can to get her back to her apt, but she may need more rehab first....it's just rough when she cries and tells us she doesnt want to live like this....breaks my heart! We just have to take it day by day, and although some might think this sounds horrible, I pray for God to be merciful and let her pass in her sleep so she doesn't have to lose anymore dignity. ( She's a pretty simple person, but full of pride ;) I think I forgot to mention, she also has breast cancer (which is pretty advanced because she refused radiation--can you blame her at 95? ) We know the end is in sight, so we'd like her to have the best of the time she has left... sorry to go on and on...thanks for your support:) Jo, you're so right about how difficult it is to lose independence. That's great that you have the room for you mom to have a sitting room too! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
havanaholly Posted November 25, 2009 Share Posted November 25, 2009 Cathy, I'm glad to see you back! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pin1056 Posted November 26, 2009 Share Posted November 26, 2009 ;) back Cathy...it seems alot is happening with your family and i hope it all works out ok... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sherry Posted November 26, 2009 Share Posted November 26, 2009 I am so sorry this is happening to you. My grandmother had breast cancer at about the same age, and it was hard for her. I hope that she is able to return to her apt, but you have to do what is best for her, which may require full time care. My gran was able to stay at home until the very end, but had home health care, and had not had the stroke. We weren't crazy about her being alone but figured that we should give her what she wanted for as long as possible. My prayers go out to all of you that you are able to accept and deal with whatever happens. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
havanaholly Posted November 26, 2009 Share Posted November 26, 2009 Will her insurance cover in-home hospice care? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chattycathy66 Posted November 26, 2009 Author Share Posted November 26, 2009 Thanks Sherry and Linda ;) Holly, I'm sure at least between her AARP supplement and medicare, there must be some in home hospice coverage---but usually with home hospice, you need a full time care giver anyway....the real problem that without the use of her left side, it takes 2 people to do toileting and transfers from bed to chair...she's about 175 lbs or so, it might be tough for just one person to do it.... my mom talked to the case manager yesterday, and they say she walked 3 feet yesterday, and is doing better feeding herself...so maybe with more rehab...she'll get a little stronger... just a day by day thing, that's all... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
justmesue Posted November 27, 2009 Share Posted November 27, 2009 Welcome back. You are so right Cathy. All you can do is take things as they come, one day at a time. HUGS and well-wishes for you and yours. Please keep in touch. I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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