aggiemae Posted August 20, 2008 Author Share Posted August 20, 2008 The run around continues... Playing Hurry Up and Wait!, the new board game where beurocrats run you through the wringer as fast as you can go and then need more time to come to a "final decision". It's from the makers of Standing in line at the DMV is becoming tiresome. So they have 10 days to make a decision...before I start kicking some beurocratic butt. Starting NOW. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
havanaholly Posted August 20, 2008 Share Posted August 20, 2008 Get yourself some steel-toed work boots to wear for the butt-kicking, Agnes; you'll want to leave a good impression on their minds! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
heidiiiii Posted August 20, 2008 Share Posted August 20, 2008 I think that all Child and Family agencies need a BIG overhaul. One of the first things they need to do is add more money to the programs so that they can hire more social workers. My friend`s son is a social worker and he doesnt know which end is up half the time. It isnt his fault. They stick these people with WAY too many cases for one person to handle. That is how mistakes happen. They were in a stable home (with you) and then they got a new case worker. Then that case worker decided to Richard around with the paperwork and yank them out. These kids have already dealt with too much already. Now they have to wonder where they are going to lay their heads at night..every night. I hope that the end result will be a good one..and in your favor! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
aggiemae Posted August 21, 2008 Author Share Posted August 21, 2008 Still no "final" answer... 9 more days until I unleash some major internet whoop-butt Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Anna Posted August 21, 2008 Share Posted August 21, 2008 Still no "final" answer... 9 more days until I unleash some major internet whoop-butt Counting down with you, you know IF you want you can use my time zone as it will soon just be 8 days left.... Hugs Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
havanaholly Posted August 21, 2008 Share Posted August 21, 2008 Here they come, swooping down, from the blue, foster moms out to get those kids from you.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shaci Posted August 23, 2008 Share Posted August 23, 2008 i'll be praying for all of you! i've played the foster care game twice and it's not very fun! i was allowed to take a teen as a "kindship" placement because she was friends with my daughter. i had her in 2 days and 9 years later i'm still her mom. then a few years ago i fought to get custody of my nephews half brother, both idiots...um..i mean his parents wanted me to take him but the state wouldn't even talk to me because even though i was only 30 miles away i was in a different state. 2 case workers and the web site said that was not a problem, but aparently it was. that poor baby is now with strangers and not allowed to see his half brothers or the aunties/grandparents that love him. his poor brothers are crushed! i thank the person that took him in cause i know how hard it must've been, but i truly believe he would've been better off here with his family! as an added bonus the idiots/parents are having another baby so maybe i'll have better luck getting that one. hopefully he'll be born without drugs in his system like the last one was. i always hear people say"spay and neuter your pets" but i think it's time to say that about some parents. keep fighting for those poor kids! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
aggiemae Posted August 30, 2008 Author Share Posted August 30, 2008 We got the call that the boys would come here full time on 8/27, the count down was on 2 DAYS. Oh, and by the way could we take one of the other boys (there are nine kids in the family) for a few days while another Jewish family "finishes certification?. My DH says yes, then he is asked if he could come a pick him up in, say, 45 minutes? She we had the oldest boy, who is 16 for two nights and took him to his new home today then picked up "our pair". I had the older one tested for school placement and he got a locker and tour of the school. The test was scored today and his classes will be assigned so he can start 6th grade on Tuesday morning. I do not know if I mentioned that none of these children have been to school before. They were "home schooled". In this case they where home all day but school not so much... I thought it was important for him to start the same day as everyone else becasue it seemed that for a shy child with very limited social experience, even starting class a few days later would be hard. The school starts at 6th grade so for least the fist few days lots of kids will not know anyone else either. Now there is the cloths part. His parents sort of had their own family religion going but they dressed like Hasidim, an orthodox sect. The older kid still doesn to accept that these was anything "really bad" wrong in his bio home dresses like a 45 year old. Tomorrow we go shopping! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
heidiiiii Posted August 30, 2008 Share Posted August 30, 2008 WOoHoo! Well Done! I am so happy for your family. I was hoping it would have a great outcome and it has! Those boys are lucky to have you Agnes. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Anna Posted August 30, 2008 Share Posted August 30, 2008 WOoHoo! Well Done! I am so happy for your family. I was hoping it would have a great outcome and it has! Those boys are lucky to have you Agnes. Definitle what Heidi said, so happy to hear that the boys will get tp stay with you!!! You are doing a wonderful thing for them!!!!! Hugs Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kitten Posted August 30, 2008 Share Posted August 30, 2008 Oh wow! You and your husband are indeed saints for doing this. I know that I wouldn't be able to. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
havanaholly Posted September 1, 2008 Share Posted September 1, 2008 Finally! Hugs and all my hopes for a good turn out for all those children. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
uppitycats Posted September 1, 2008 Share Posted September 1, 2008 Wishing you lots of luck...and patience..and forebearance...as everyone gets adjusted to all the new stuff they'll be facing. And thanks so much for taking this on! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
aggiemae Posted September 1, 2008 Author Share Posted September 1, 2008 Wow, neither has ever been inside Target! They had to stay in the car or at home to watch the "younger kids". The 8 years old was sometimes responsible for taking care of the 4 yr old, 18 mo old and newborn for 6-8 hours a day. The NB was breast fed and when the house was searched they did not find even one baby bottle. He drank 28 oz of formula in the hospital and only slept for 3 hours and was up for more. Until this summer none of the kids had ever been to a movie, an amusement park or even the state fair. None had ever had a bicycle or skates and apparently skateboarders are demons sent to earth by Satan himself, as are dogs. The five oldest learned to swim, this summer, now they just have to learn to read and write and do basic math. The scary thing is other than leaving the 8 year old in charge, none of these things are considered neglect. Other than not read very well but no one suspected anything other than the mom was not so good at "homeschooling" or that they where very "religious". It turned out they are not even Jewish, so we do not have a clue why they turned up here or why the kids where told that what was going on in their home was "orthodox". The only two things we can come up with is that they knew we would assist them financially and hire the dad, who is a carpenter. Or possibly that Jesus was a Jew and they emanated his life (and ancient Judaism) as much as possible. CAUTION the rest is just venting. This will be my one and only rant about the "parents" I really need to do this! The "parents" each have 24 charges, I think 14 felony counts. If the charges are served concurrently the minimumsentence, before possibility of parole, is 5.2 years. There is a huge extended family, but few of them would qualify to take the kids becasue they all belong to the same crazy religious cult or cults even worse. The dads family sends the kids cards and gifts. His sister sent the two we have monogrammed backpacks filled with school supplies. The father is clearly mentally ill, he thinks he is the messiah. He refuses to defend himself or plea insanity. It is looking more and more like the mom is the real abuser in the family. Some of the kids are protective of her and defend her. Most professionals think they had been coached to to do this in case something the parents could not talk their way out of happened. No one on the "mothers" side of the family has done anything or even made an offer too help the children. They blog all over the internet and spend alot of time (trying to) defend her and are blaming everyone and anyone involved for the things she did. Of course, the "mother" is now claiming she was a victim "too". It is her only out. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PATBIDLACK Posted September 1, 2008 Share Posted September 1, 2008 I curse all abusive parents to endless hell. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
uppitycats Posted September 1, 2008 Share Posted September 1, 2008 So...if the kids aren't really Jewish, will that knowledge affect your ability to keep them as foster kids? Will the "system" decide they should not then be in a Jewish home?? I've heard of "the system" doing strange things like that, taking kids out of a perfectly lovely home over some misconception like that. I hope this all continues to work out for you. How frightening for these youngsters..a whole new world "out there". I'm totally opposed to the death penalty, but when I hear about abused kids or animals, I start to rethink my position.. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
aggiemae Posted September 2, 2008 Author Share Posted September 2, 2008 Usual religion is not a factor in foster care placement. The oldest kid is 17 years old, so we know that (for reasons that no one knows) the children have always been told they are Jewish and have attended our synagogue and Sunday school for three years. The judge ordered they be placed in a Jewish home, but (big surprise) no one was able to care for all nine of them. These are very high needs kids. The two here get along OK, they are very competitive and argue ALOT but the other kids over 5 are actually terribly physically and emotionally abusive towards each other. The "family visit" when they are all together is like watching a bar room brawl. The younger one is adventurous and willing to try new things, the older one continues to follow the "family rules" (there are lots of them too) and is completly inflexable about any sort of change at all. Today is the first day of school and I am going to pick them up now, so will try to come back and read up on dollhouse stuff later! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PATBIDLACK Posted September 2, 2008 Share Posted September 2, 2008 My heart is with you. All you can do is supply what they need and love them. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gayle Posted September 2, 2008 Share Posted September 2, 2008 My thoughts and prayers are with you. I don't think I could handle the situation, I admire what you're doing. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
aggiemae Posted September 3, 2008 Author Share Posted September 3, 2008 Thanks everyone for all the kind words and encouragement. I really, really need them. I edited some of this becasue it might have contained identifying information. Honestly, I do not know if I have what it takes either. After the first time we visited the boys there we knew we could at least do better than the foster home. In Israel they still have orphanages, which is very shameful to me. So, yes I do know that any foster home is likely better than being with abusive parents or an orphanage but it just seems that the standards should be higher than "barely good enough". We got the boys at 3:30 PM last Friday. There wher several drug house raids last week and the foster mom had two new kids there to replace them 30 minutes later. Today I found out that the boys have only had one counseling appointment each in the past seven weeks. The old foster mom said she was "too busy" during the summer. I scheduled the first two available, two weeks out. I was told I can make appointments directly with the councilor, up to two a week. I am just horrified that they have not had any treatment especially since they regularly talk about horrible things that happened in their home. They talk as if this is normal every day stuff, I sometimes wonder if they expect it will happen here sooner or later. I fear the world is actually full of awful people and I think more and more that there should be a test to pass before anyone is allowed to have children. The bottom line is that we do love these children, I do not know if there is any thing that will help them or what their futures hold. Until the parents criminal trial is over we can't really even make plans. All we can do is give them a safe place to live and love them while they are here with us, the rest is completly out of our hands. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
heidiiiii Posted September 3, 2008 Share Posted September 3, 2008 Agnes, You deserve a BIG HUG! I did a little bit of googling and I found a news story about the whole thing. Then I stepped into a place where I understand what you are talking about with the blogging about it.. UGH! (I will not post the link because it was too vile ). The things people are typing as reasoning in this case are off the charts. Give em hugs. Give em love. Give em a chocolate chip cookie from ME. They deserve it and so do you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
aggiemae Posted September 3, 2008 Author Share Posted September 3, 2008 My need to vent over took my better judgement but I do not want to have any names mentioned on this site, as then GL would come up in a google search. If you read the blogs you would know you do not want some of these people to know your name or where you live. If you want to understand more (and have a strong stomach) it is easy to find information but please do not add a link or any names here! THANKS Wow, today I am enjoying something I have not even thought about for several years. One of the kids had orientation yesterday but today is the first day of school for all three and I am enjoying the silence of an empty house. Yippie! Starting tomorrow I have set aside 2 hours per day for building. I am also going to do the afterschool dollhouse program again. This time we will be doing group builds (4 to a group. 12 kids per session). I have two education majors who are going to help for school credit so I will just be there 90 minutes twice a week for the program but will not have to pack and unpack clean or keep the kids organized/ I'll just give instruction. The student teachers will be there four days a week so the kids will get more work time and assistance. My youngest bio kid started high school. With football and orchestra we just realized he would be having 12 hour a day at school from Monday thru Thursday until the end of November. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
aggiemae Posted March 17, 2015 Author Share Posted March 17, 2015 Better late than never update... after two years of legal wrangling with the bio parents who refused to relinquish parent rights even after being sentence to mandatory sentence of 20 and 29 years we adopted both boys in April of 2011. It's been a long rough road but we walked it. The oldest will be 18 in a few weeks and bio mom has already sent her minions to let him know she is waiting for him to visit her in prison, apparently she believes that the only reason her kids don't see her (or write to her) is that their (evil) parents are preventing them. Yep, the convicted abused gets to send mail to the kids she abused. You got to wonder about a legal system that gives so many rights to convicted child abusers. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Selkie Posted March 17, 2015 Share Posted March 17, 2015 Sigh... I know whereof you speak. Child services, lawyers, judges, legal loopholes, oh my, what gives people nightmares and more. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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