What are you up to today? This week?

[Selkie]

I've been known to base my shopping choices on the store with the least painful floor. If you look at some store floors, you can actually see the dips and curves in them which is a good indicator that it's not a place where I want to spend an extended period of time. Do you have degenerative disc disease too Selkie or is it sciatica?

I have 2 compression fracture injuries in my lower back, a pinched nerve that has created a completely numb area in my upper thigh area and on the outside of one foot, 2 completely shot knees, degenerative disc in the thoracic region and general arthritis everywhere. I've had 5 hand surgeries so far and due for 2 more. Yeah, so it's a boatload of chronic pain. No pain meds will cover it unless I went for being knocked out which really doesn't fit into my plans well.

[sparklepuppies]

This has been a very busy week at work. Seems like everything is breaking all at once! Oh well, keeps us from getting bored!

My grandmother had a stroke when I was a teenager, and was paralyzed on one side. So she was in a wheelchair, and we had a HC card for when we took her places. She hated it. She would scream (she couldn't talk) and pitch a fit if we parked in HC. I still remember pushing her all the way from the back of the mall parking lot... She wasn't the one doing the work, so no difference to her! But that's okay, I would do anything for her.

[Minis Over The Hill]

I have 2 compression fracture injuries in my lower back, a pinched nerve that has created a completely numb area in my upper thigh area and on the outside of one foot, 2 completely shot knees, degenerative disc in the thoracic region and general arthritis everywhere. I've had 5 hand surgeries so far and due for 2 more. Yeah, so it's a boatload of chronic pain. No pain meds will cover it unless I went for being knocked out which really doesn't fit into my plans well.

Selkie, I'm so sorry to hear about these hard medical issues. I hope your pending surgeries will give you some much needed relief!

[Selkie]

Please don't feel bad for me.

What I have is not life threatening and it didn't happen all at once. It's been getting to this point for many, many years. Even as a teenager I had mild arthritis so it's something you learn to live with gradually. Is it fun? No, but I look at the other options of disabilities and diseases, and I'll take mine over those any day of the week.

If you have to have something, it might as well be something you are suited to manage and/or live with.

Life never promised perfect days every day. Without the rain/snow, we wouldn't appreciate the sunshine.

[CheckMouse]

What are the symptoms of miniature withdrawal? I have not been able to even touch my minis for several weeks. I smile at my little Georgian Townhouse as I pass the table it is on, patiently awaiting my return. DH has been gone for a year and a half and is now back for a few weeks, so the Honey-do list is long. But I NEED my minis!

[pdlnpeabody]

I just got home from work. What's kind of aggravating is that I started at 8:30 this morning, but only have about 7 hours on the clock. I was told by a co-worker that although we don't have health insurance benefits or stellar wages, we're required to stay home if we have so much as a sniffle and can't return without a DR's note, which costs big $ if you're not insured. I also realized that my DW would have to take our 2 year-old to her follow-up appointment at the OB's office, which wouldn't work during the exam, so I took an early lunch and met her at the DR's office to keep him occupied in the waiting room during that part of the visit. I also scheduled a visit to my DR, so after only 90 minutes back at work in the afternoon, I had to depart again to get a return to work note.

Although she is doing well physically, she cried the entire time she was there. Despite the DR telling her that it wasn't her fault and there wasn't anything she could have done to change what happened, she still thinks differently. What's worse, she named it and can't let go of what might have been. It wasn't a planned pregnancy, but she still thinks it would have been the blue-eyed little girl she always wanted. All of this and she found out on Monday that she failed the RN boards for the 5th time.

The OB wanted her to see a shrink this afternoon, but her appointment was scheduled 15 minutes after mine in the next town over. I didn't know this until I was already there, so I rode straight to where she was at as soon as I could. Mainly to get our 3 kids out of the room and also to protect her rights. She needs to talk to someone, but psych "professionals" practice quasi-science at best and are usually some of the craziest people I've ever met. Even worse, in Florida, they can strip you of all of your constitutional rights and indefinitely lock you up with actual crazy people suffering from schizophrenia and illicit drug induced mental instability. Taking a mother away from her children, job, family and friends and locking her up in such an environment is NOT conducive to healing.

I wish I knew what to tell her, but I don't. I know what hardship and loss feel like, but I'm a guy, I will never have the slightest idea what it feels like to carry and lose an unborn child. I can find peace by considering all the ways it could have been worse, and be grateful that it didn't work out that way. I'm also glad for what we do have. I'm hopeful that this isn't the final straw that broke her drive to fight on.

Sorry for the drama. I'm just venting.

[Deb]

Jeremy, it's totally understandable that you feel that way. You are worried about your wife and you're doing everything you can to protect her and take care of her. That's got to be terribly frustrating when there isn't much that can be done but believe me, what you are doing for her is amazingly supportive. You're dealing with the stress of starting a new job but yet you're still doing everything you can to be in two places at once to help her.

I can understand your wife's grief. I lost my only pregnancy when I was about as far along as she was. My little girl would have been named Aubrey and she would have been 34 this year so that perhaps that helps you to know that it's okay for your wife to do things like that because it helps to gain closure by giving the cause of her grief a name and face. Blaming herself is less healthy tho. Hopefully in time she'll learn to accept that there wasn't anything she could have done; these things just happen and eventually we come to terms with it, But to do that, I think that it would really help your wife to talk to someone who can give her some specific coping skills to deal with how she feels.....not necessarily a shrink. The option of a psychologist (not a psychiatrist) would be a better one for her because therapists are more about how to handle real life situations (they are also not MDs so they can't make the medical diagnosis to have someone committed and with those state laws I can see why you'd be concerned about that!). I've seen both kinds and while the shrink helped me deal with neurological issues after my strokes, the therapist was the one who taught me how to cope with grief and loss with practical suggestions about different things I could do which put me back in control. There's also the option of support groups in your area or even online. Sometimes just sitting and talking with other women who have gone thru the same thing is the very best kind of therapy there is. She really needs to know she's not alone and talking to a support group or a grief counselor would probably help her regain a sense of equilibrium.

Bless her heart, she's also going thru some crazy hormonal changes right now too. A miscarriage can cause more hormonal distress than post-partum depression so she's got that to deal with too as well as the additional loss of not passing the boards. That's a lot of heartache to deal with one at a time, let alone all at once. My heart really goes out to you guys right now. You're going thru all these things but you're still holding it together and that is a great feat of strength. I hope you don't mind my speaking so, well, bluntly, but that's the old-aunty-by-the-fire in me. You and your wife are good people and I sincerely hope that she starts feeling better soon.

[Stacey6163]

I am so sorry for all you and your wife are going through, I hope things will get better soon.

Things have been a mess around here, besides the usual day to day dramas , my sister has been in the hospital two hours away all week. She has had four bouts with breast cancer and the radiation treatments caused a hole in her lung, that up until now hadn't caused any problems. She was coughing up blood so our local hospital flew her to Pittsburgh, and after many tests have shown the damage is much worse than the doctors at home had told her. She has Lymphedema in her left arm and they have found a large blood clot in her armpit and another test revealed fluid around her heart. I asked her if it was from the issue with her lung or CHF and she didn't know, she keeps crying and wanting to come home and I'm trying to get her to realize she is in one of the best hospitals in the state and should stay and let them fix her up. Her birthday was yesterday and could barely talk to me because of crying, it breaks my heart. I've never driven in Pittsburgh before but am going to call and make sure they are keeping her and make the trip down to see her. I imagine the few hairs that aren't gray will be once I get this trip over with, so be thinking of me , this country gal is going to take on the big city. It will be worth it to cheer her up a little.

[Mandystar]

Ah, Jeremy, you do have an awful lot on your plate, don't you! We're as glad as you are that you have a place to vent, here on the forum, because I'm sure you just swallow hard at home!

Does it help when someone says, "This, too, shall pass"? Probably not, but it's true.'

I'm just so sorry that you have a trial like this in your lives, causing such physical and emotional turmoil. Our thoughts and prayers are with you and your family. Even though it sounds so trite, hang in there. It will get better over time.

[Selkie]

Jeremy, adding my thoughts to those of others. I'm sorry life isn't being kind to you and your family right now. Check in with your Greenleaf family from time to time to keep us up to date. We are here to listen.

[Deb]

Life never promised perfect days every day. Without the rain/snow, we wouldn't appreciate the sunshine.

Truer words have never been spoken Selkie. And without an appreciation of the sunshine, what else would we have to look forward to on dark days? I've discovered as you have that if we accept adversity as something to be worked thru and learned from, it lightens the load so that we can bear whatever it is life has placed on our shoulders. See? I told you that you're a wise woman. LOL!!! Come sit with me in a comfy rocker on the back porch and we'll soak up the warmth of the sun til our bones feel better.

Actually, that's probably exactly what I'm going to do today. I'm feeling better than I have in several days which means I want to do everything all at once but that would defeat the purpose of feeling rested, so instead of rushing around cleaning house or doing this or that, I'm going to simply savor feeling somewhat comfortable today. It's very overcast today as if it wants to rain (not a chance of that happening, but overcast days are few and far between here so it kind of feels like a rainy day, just without the rain and cooler temps), That makes it a good day to sit on the patio with the laptop or tablet and watch the birds all day. And Lizardzilla.

I haven't told you guys about Lizardzilla yet. He lives in my yard and not only is he fast, he's also huge and getting bigger every day! From snout to vent (apparently that's the proper way to refer to a lizard's nose and rectum), he's at least 6" long and then he has about that much more length in his tail, so overall he's close to a foot long. He won't hold still long enough for me to get a good look at his markings so I'm not sure exactly what he is. He's too big to be one of the garden variety lizards we have here which makes him a contender for "iguana" status. He might be an alligator lizard but until he stops long enough for me to look at him, I can't say for sure. What I do know is that he's big enough to bite and while he's definitely not a Gila Monster (the only poisonous lizard in this area), a bite from a lizard of that size would still be painful. That's why I never see him holding still because as soon as he comes up on the patio where I'm lounging barefoot, I start throwing things at him. LOL!!

He's definitely carnivorous because the rest of my lizard population has dropped dramatically since he started growing. I'm going into overdrive about killing off bugs in the yard which eliminates the food source and hopefully he'll take off to the fields for better hunting grounds. I put out some Green Light which is a seriously powerful insecticide powder and thought that he'd shy away from it but yesterday I watched him kicking up clouds of dust as he ran right thru the entire barrier I'd put down around the side of the house. In fact, I'm not sure, but I think that he may have stopped, whipped out a razor blade, cut a few lines and snorted them before going on his way. In other words, this is one seriously tough lizard!

The funniest part of this story is the reaction of Deano when he caught his first glimpse of Lizardzilla scurrying past the patio doors. Deano was sitting right on the other side of the glass and I've never seen a cat's eyes get that big, let alone see one do a jaw drop, but Deano was literally gobsmacked at the sight of this thing. He backed up a couple of paces which made me laugh because Deano is my wicked hunter kitty and that's the first time I've seen him shy away from something he thought might be fun prey. I'm going to listen to my cat and keep my feet up off the ground while I sit on the patio. I'm also going to remind myself to check under all the cushions before I sit down because I've seen Lizardzilla up on the loveseat once or twice. I do NOT share my personal space well with reptiles.

[Selkie]

.... Come sit with me in a comfy rocker on the back porch and we'll soak up the warmth of the sun til our bones feel better..

....Lizardzilla .... He lives in my yard and not only is he fast, he's also huge and getting bigger every day! .....a bite from a lizard of that size would still be painful. ....

I put out some Green Light which is a seriously powerful insecticide powder and thought that he'd shy away from it but yesterday I watched him kicking up clouds of dust as he ran right thru the entire barrier I'd put down around the side of the house. In fact, I'm not sure, but I think that he may have stopped, whipped out a razor blade, cut a few lines and snorted them before going on his way. In other words, this is one seriously tough lizard! ..... I do NOT share my personal space well with reptiles.

I'll be right over - well, it will take a plane ride or two but I'm on my way. Save me a seat.

As to Lizardzilla .... do you think that the Green Light is mutating him by any chance?

Yikes-o ... what if that snorting is causing his exponential growth and possible future aggressiveness?

Watch your kitties and toes carefully.

Can Bruce catch the critter and relocate him by any chance? I'd be in favor of that idea - like, real quick like!

[Deb]

Can Bruce catch the critter and relocate him by any chance? I'd be in favor of that idea - like, real quick like!

hehehehehehe Bruce doesn't mind lizards except for the constant battle to keep the smaller ones out of the garage so if he relocated Lizardzilla, that's probably where he'd put it! Bruce thinks only one large lizard is preferable to a dozen smaller ones and he's probably right. My Granddad had a horny toad (that's the common name for the great horned lizard) in his basement for years and grew quite fond of it because it took care of all the bugs. If one can reach a balance of territory with them, they're not bad to have around because they do eat scorpions and chase off snakes but until I completely identify Lizardzilla, I'm not all that comfortable around him, especially since he's a bit of a cannibal.

As to Lizardzilla .... do you think that the Green Light is mutating him by any chance?

Yikes-o ... what if that snorting is causing his exponential growth and possible future aggressiveness?

Watch your kitties and toes carefully.

Hey Selkie, I think you may be onto the next plot of a made for Sci-Fi channel TV disaster movie! Just imagine the setting underground of Lizardzilla in his den, counting all his flies and gnats while he snorts Green Light thru a garden hose and continues to mutate til he reaches Godzilla proportions. We'll have to get either Robert DeNiro or Al Pacino to play the tough exterminator and Jamie Lee Curtis can be the brilliant research scientist who gets to scream a lot but figures out how to save the world at the last minute. I wonder if we can get Adrienne Barbeau to play me? I'd like the world to think that I still have that kind of perky cleavage at this age.

[Selkie]

Hey Selkie, I think you may be onto the next plot of a made for Sci-Fi channel TV disaster movie! Just imagine the setting underground of Lizardzilla in his den, counting all his flies and gnats while he snorts Green Light thru a garden hose and continues to mutate til he reaches Godzilla proportions. We'll have to get either Robert DeNiro or Al Pacino to play the tough exterminator and Jamie Lee Curtis can be the brilliant research scientist who gets to scream a lot but figures out how to save the world at the last minute. I wonder if we can get Adrienne Barbeau to play me? I'd like the world to think that I still have that kind of perky cleavage at this age.

You and me both, sister. I lost that 400 years ago. I use a wheelbarrow now.

Can't wait for the movie .... Hope you and Lizardzilla will be friends by then so he'll give you royalties for giving him his start in stardom !!!!

[Deb]

You and me both, sister. I lost that 400 years ago. I use a wheelbarrow now.

Can't wait for the movie .... Hope you and Lizardzilla will be friends by then so he'll give you royalties for giving him his start in stardom !!!!

Ah gravity, thou art a cruel master.

Lizardzilla is going to need a manager because it's hard to cash checks when you're a reptile. Of course he'll probably go off and do his own reality show with some of the Jersey Shore guys so I doubt he'll even talk to me once he's a star. Lizards are notoriously cold blooded when it comes to relationships.

[Selkie]

Ah, true but since it is your backyard, you could sue for millions. I mean, after all, he did eat your Green Light and sleep on your patio furniture ....

[Deb]

Ah, true but since it is your backyard, you could sue for millions. I mean, after all, he did eat your Green Light and sleep on your patio furniture ....

Good point. I should probably go take pictures of his talon and tail tracks in the Green Light for future evidence in court. If nothing else, it'll make a great illustration in my tell all book about him later. Knowing Lizardzilla, he'll probably spend all his money on wild geckos and heavier pesticides until he dies young of an overdose outside of a sleazy ant hill where no one knows his name. <sigh> It's tragic but it'll make for an interesting book that will sell well even if it never achieves literary acclaim.

[Peggi]

Selkie, I like to say, you have one of the best attitudes of anyone I know to be able to look at and enjoy life no matter the adversity, Deb has this ability also. In fact a lot of the community here does. You just worded it so well.

Jeremy, my heart goes out to you and your wife, it really sounds as if you are trying so hard to keep you two balanced through this trying time. I too suffered a miscarriage once and although it affected my DH, it was different, he did not want to talk about it and was just grateful I survived...happened during a rare ice storm and I almost hemorraged to death right after getting to the hospital (took 2 hours for a normal 30 minute ride) But we came out stronger in our relationship and learned our different ways of handling grief. Hopefully things will get better sooner than later. I agree with Deb, a counselor may help

[chesterfieldzoo]

If nothing else, it'll make a great illustration in my tell all book about him later. Knowing Lizardzilla, he'll probably spend all his money on wild geckos and heavier pesticides until he dies young of an overdose outside of a sleazy ant hill where no one knows his name. <sigh>

That's hilarious!

[Deb]

Stacey, I just saw your post about your sister. I'm so sorry. Here I've been being super silly about lizards as kind of a diversionary tail, er, I mean, *tale* not tail to make people laugh, and didn't see your post about what you're dealing with. Perhaps you can share the silly Lizardzilla story with your sister and coax a smile out of her. (I'm grasping here because I believe circumstances always come together somehow). Hugs to you sweetie as you go to lend her your support and strength. We'll be here when you need us to help you recharge and rest.

[kat57]

Jeremy,Stacey,and any other Forum members going through troubling times right now,my heart goes out to you. Kinda wakes a person up,thinking they have it tough when others are going through so much torment.

But I have been through some of the scariest,darkest of days in my life in the past,as we all have at some point,and it's amazing when we come through it all,even though we don't think it's possible to stand another minute of heart ache at that moment. We're survivors.

Jeremy,I hope you will encourage some form of counselling or support group for your wife-maybe if you go with her,it would help. Stacey,be careful and I hope your sister is well soon! Keep us posted.

[kat57]

Wow,after my earlier post I had no idea what the rest of my evening had in store:

At about 10:10 this past evening(Fri.) there was a fatal car crash in my front yard. I only heard the crash happen,but my neighbors saw the car go speeding down our little dirt lane just before impact. I heard some commotion,saw headlights and suddenly a loud bang,then nothing. I was just stunned for a minute,wondering if something had hit the trailer-it was that close. But I realized I would have felt it if they had. I slowly opened my front door and there was this crumpled mass of shiny black metal and red tail lights,snugged up against the car that I borrow for work from my boss lady....

Long story short,I have no idea who he was,but an officer told me the man in the wreckage,who looked fairly young (Yes,I saw the body) was probably dead on impact with a large oak at the edge of the yard,before the car tumbled across the wide dirt driveway and landed upside down against the car I use. This was about 2 1/2 car lengths in front of my little wood porch,another 7 feet or so. Yikes! (I'm no good with estimating yardages,but you can picture how close that is!)

My neighbors,who I really didn't know before this,stayed awhile,as we watched all kinds of activity going on and answered many questions.There was debris strewn all over the yard and they had to search to be sure another person hadn't been in the car and ejected,as there was a woman's purse found in the car. No one else was found,but a pistol and holster were. A tire just missed striking the far end of the trailer.

There's supposed to be some officers coming back out tomorrow to be sure they cleared everything up. It started to rain lightly in the middle of all the 'hurry up and wait' for the body to be transported out so they could take the vehicle away-I think it was a Jeep brand of some sort. Looked brand new,an officer said...My boss lady's car has a lot of damage on the side and the windshield is shattered,at least that's what I could definitely see in the dim light.

I have lots of grim calls to make tomorrow. My landlord,who also is my boss lady's brother and hopefully will tell her for me;my son,who is staying at his dad's the weekend while working and who's car would have been in the path of the crash if he had been home;my mother,because if she hears it from anyone else in this little town first,well,you know mothers! I am about to go try to sleep a few hours. I had a serious accident myself a decade ago and then lost a brother the next year,so I know just how destroyed someone's loved ones will be feeling tomorrow. :teary: Take care,everyone!

[chesterfieldzoo]

Kat, that is way too close for comfort. Glad you didn't get hurt.

[kat57]

Deana,it was so awful! I got about 4 hours sleep last night-who can sleep much after something like that happens?

I know a bit more about the man. He was in his 40s,a local resident who lived about 2 miles back up the road,divorced,had 2 young children who lived with him. A good friend and neighbor of his said he was not known to drink heavy or do drugs. He had recently had some 'heart palpitations',but otherwise a normal,healthy,very nice guy who adored his children.

But in the daylight we can see the track his vehicle took-it really looks like he came off the lane and headed straight for the tree. I know I thought I heard someone gun their engine just before the crash,but I so hope I am wrong. Just a few yards past my rental,the little dirt lane has a locked gate across it and I often hear/see people gun their engine in aggravation as they rush back past my place after they've had to turn around when they couldn't get through to go down to 'the bay'. But this vehicle was coming from the main road and hadn't passed my driveway yet. Hopefully the officials will be able to figure it all out...just very sad.

A piece of the vehicle landed behind my trailer-meaning it went over the roof. Another piece,the luggage rack maybe,actually hit the front wall,below my son's window and peeled away a small corner of the siding. My landlord has come and gone,taking photos and such,and will be back later to take care of his sister's car. It got pretty banged up,but he said it was lucky things had not been worse,and was glad I was okay.

Well,just now,there was about the 4th sightseer since I got up this morning,driving by slowly and turning around in the driveway...I guess they will be coming down here for awhile,until the news fades. Small town and all that...

Sorry if all this rambling was too much info! I'm alone,as my son is gone until Sunday and I can't get ahold of anybody else yet-everyone sleeps in on Saturdays,I guess...I wish I could have. Take care everyone!

[chesterfieldzoo]

It's not too much info. It IS very upsetting. Close your curtains on that side and turn on your porchlight, turn on the tv. Hopefully no one will come and set up one of those roadside memorials in your yard. Maybe you can find someone to give you a ride and go out to dinner with you, just so you can get out.